Billionaires Think You Need This Skill to Express Your Full Potential

Warren Buffett: without this skill nothing great happens

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Warren Buffett never had any doubts about what was the best investment of his life. So when Michael Hood — a young entrepreneur — asked him one tip he had for 21–22-year-olds graduates, the Omaha Oracle replied:

“Invest in yourself. And one easy way to become worth 50% more than you are one — at least — is to hone your communication skills — both written and verbal. If you can’t communicate, it’s like winking at a girl in the dark — nothing happens.”

Buffett is not the only billionaire to think of communication this way. Even Bill Gates and Richard Branson agree that communication is the number one skill to own to be successful.

Microsoft founder thinks any kind of innovation requires the ability to collaborate and share ideas with other people. For Branson instead, communication makes the world go round, facilitating human connections and allowing us to grow, advance and progress.

In support of the 3 entrepreneurs’ opinions, the Carnegie Institute of Technology stated only 15% of the financial success would be due to technical knowledge and skills. While the remaining 85% would be due to Human Engineering skills, personality, communication, and negotiation skills.

Table of contents
1. Honing Communication: what effective communicators looks like
2. Listening: where Effective Communication Starts
3. Reading: Not-said first, Spoken second
4. Reworking: transform inputs in a effective output
5. 10 Actionable Tips to Improve Communication

Honing Communication: what effective communicators looks like

Effective communication is a two-way street, where the exchange of information takes place among interlocutors through a clear, complete, and understandable message. The reason why communication can be considered successful when the sender and the receiver of the message demonstrate:

• to listen to each other;
• to have a clear idea of the communication topics;
• to use a language accessible to all interlocutors;
• the understanding of the said and the unspoken of the message;
• that emotions do not compromise the tone, content and/or the meaning of the message;
• that outputs are consistent with the received input;

Honing communication does not go through a single skill. But rather through an entire skillset with verbal and non-verbal competence that can be simplified into 3 building blocks:

1. listening to understand clearly the meaning of what is said as intended;
2. reading the not said that complete the message;
3. reworking all inputs into one consistent, clear and complete output;

Listening: where Effective Communication Starts

“Best Advice: Listen More Than You Talk” — Richard Branson

Without listening there is no communication. And without the ability to receive and interpret messages effectively, communication is missing the first and required prerequisite to be effective.

Listening means understanding not only what has been said, but also how it is communicated, interpreting both verbal and non-verbal communication messages — such as voice and body language.

In other words, an effective communicator is an active listener first and a skilled speaker second, who listens and gets the message on an informational and empathic level.

Listen with others emotions

Good or bad, we all know and understand what informational listening means, but in my experience, too many people ignore the concept of empathic listening. Yet in any form of communication, nothing beats empathy and the ability to identify with the people we are addressing.

Listening empathically means relating to what is being told and elaborating a message considering the inputs of other people. In plain words, it’s about making someone feel understood and considered.

Empathic listening has advantages that are reflected in both interpersonal and working life. Salespeople with great listening skills sell more and physicians get better results for their patients.

It happens because when we try to see things from the perspective of those in front of us, we build trust, respect, and collaborative communication that favors problem-solving.

Listening and demonstrating listening: 2 different concepts

The difference between listening and demonstrating you are listening may seem small, but for the speaker it is immense. When we practice active listening — through feedback, questions, and positive reinforcement — we are completely focused on what is being said, but more importantly, we make the other person heard.

Active listening involves the whole body, from the voice to facial expressions, right up to posture. And its goal is the same as empathic listening: to improve emotional connection.

The chameleon effect

Reflecting non-verbal communication — like body language or tone of voice — as well as some words of the speaker is the extra step that elevates listening and communication to the next level.

Research has found mirroring behavior, often referred to as “the chameleon effect”, improves a conversation exponentially, producing better outcomes.

The neuroscience behind mirroring is supported by the discovery of mirror neurons and how empathy develops in the brain. Researchers have found that mirror neurons play a key role in the ability to socialize, stimulating actions, intentions, and feelings.

In short, reflecting the expressions, gestures, posture, and tone of voice of those in front of us helps create better connections, causing others to like and trust you more.

Reading: Not-said first, Spoken second

According to the acclaimed, as disputed studies by psychologist UCLA’s Albert Mehrabian, only 7% of communication is transmitted through spoken words. While the stunning remaining 93% would be conveyed by non-verbal signals, respectively by body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%).

Even without the often questioned 7/38/55 distribution, it’s enough to rethink everyday life to realize how much non-verbal cues play a major role in communication. Knowing how to decode non-verbal cues allows us to consume a more exhaustive communication, aware of people’s real feelings and intentions, as well as our non-verbal cues.

The importance of body language

The behaviors of the body can reinforce, contrast, or even undermine what is being said. Handshakes, facial expressions, posture and gestures contribute in a unique way to the perception of an individual, subliminally transmitting data such as confidence, credibility, and trustworthiness to the brains of other interlocutors.

• Posture communicates peculiar information from one interlocutor and the other, such as status, attitude, and confidence level. Nothing is more important than a natural and relaxed posture to communicate that you are in control. A power straight pose demonstrates leadership, self-confidence, and competence. On the contrary, a poor posture with closed shoulders, which reflects a perception of low self-esteem and confidence in one’s message.
• Facial expressions may conflict with what we have just said or done. And being mostly involuntary, they are not an easy affect display to control. Through facial expressions, we can voluntarily or not express our emotional state to the people around us and influence their perception of us. For example, 9 times out of 10, people can guess the emotional state of those in front of them simply by looking at their eyes. Research also suggests that humans rely on facial expressions to understand whether it is wise to place trust in the person in front of them or to assess their intelligence.
• Physiological changes in the body are closely related to the emotional state. Excessive sweating, red itchy nose are unconditional reactions that show emotions, such as discomfort, anxiety, and stress. The best way to control these unconditional traits is to learn how to manage triggering moods.
• Gestures advantages — backed by robust literature — are reflected both on the speaker and the listener, although not recommended in some contexts. Through gestures, the speaker enriches the meaning of his message, transmitting unique information that completes the communication, such as his knowledge and experiences. For the listener, on the other hand, gestures facilitate understanding and memory, reducing the workload on a mental level.

The importance of Voice Perception

What we say is worth less than how we say it. And paradoxically, it is possible to express the same concept through the same words and be able to deliver two different messages.

Elements such as voice, intonation, volume, and rhythm affect the listener’s interpretation of what has been said. And simply by changing one of these traits, we can twist the meaning of communication.

Not written Messages in writing

Like non-verbal communication in a conversation — albeit with some limitations — also written communication transmits information not explicitly intended to the message receiver.

Style, tone, and voice reflect the attitude of the writer. Therefore the best way to get an adequate tone in any written communication is to imagine the conversation in which we would say the words that have been written.

Reworking: transform inputs in an effective output

Speaking or writing we can express the same message in several different ways depending on the situation. Who has a strong emotional intelligence can shape his message based on the people he is addressing, their feelings, and the context.

Furthermore, the choice of the form allows us to express the same concepts, respecting the boundary between what is right to say and possible to say, avoiding entering into uncomfortable working or interpersonal situations.

Emotions Administration

Emotions are the biggest obstacle to the effectiveness of any communication. Fear affects the way the brain receives and processes information. The pride of being right at all costs compromises the effectiveness of any conversation. And anxiety influences the way we think and express clearly.

Reacting and managing emotions without being overwhelmed is a habit that is built over time. Self-regulation of emotions is a complex undertaking, which begins with the awareness of one’s feelings and those of the people around us.

Being emotionally aware makes it easier to understand where an emotion came from, as well as where it will come from in the future. The better you are at understanding what arises a specific state of mind, the more aware your behavioral reactions will be to that particular circumstance.

10 Actionable Tips to Improve Communication

Identify a high standard of communication

According to Jeff Bezos, defining which are the highest standards of any skill or sector is the first step to pursue it.

It is difficult to aspire to high standards if you do not have a clear idea of what they look like. And fortunately, thanks to the age we live in and all the free online material, setting a high standard for communication is relatively simple.

Thousands of hours of interviews, public speaking, conversations, comparisons, and articles are public on the Internet. You can study the best TED talks speakers, read Jeff Bezos or Warren Buffett’s letters to investors, Bill Gates’ blog, or watch Gary Vee’s interviews. The only limit is curiosity.

Write to think sharper and expose clearer

Warren Buffett finds in writing the main way to redefine his thoughts. And many other financially successful people secretly have writing habits. For example, Tim Ferris credits most of his success to the practice of writing, because it allowed him to freeze his thoughts and refine them from time to time.

Several studies have shown that writing leads to improved thinking as well as communication skills. Writing down thoughts on paper improves the thought process. And in both science and emotional intelligence, people with writing habits express complex concepts more effectively.

Use Self visualization to control emotions and handle stress

By practicing visualization, everybody can create a realistic mental reproduction of himself in a communication overwhelmed by emotions. Visualizing on a mental level the obstacles that cause you to stress, anxiety and nervousness, helps you to face them with greater serenity and awareness later in real life.

Use a Plain Kid-Proof Language

A widespread belief is that communicating with an academic tone impresses listeners and readers, making us seem more competent in their eyes.

Instead, complex sentences and words only compromise the comprehensibility and credibility of a message, because people tend to act and believe based on the information they can best understand. And simple language allows anyone to read, understand and digest a communication.

Effective communicators remove barriers between interlocutors, translating technical information into simple messages that even an audience of non-experts can understand.

Use A Story Every to bait attention

Telling stories, as well as personal anecdotes, within communication is the most powerful tool we all have to tell and influence those who listen to us.

Ever since the discovery of fire, humans have told stories to bring back experiences, information and to put others on guard. And since then, in over 400,000 years, evolution has wired our brains to imagine and process information in the form of stories.

Storytelling captures people’s attention and creates in them a sense of connection, trust, and familiarity, allowing the listener to relate to the narrative.

Use voice messages to become aware of your voice

Many hate hearing the sound of their voice, while others cannot bear to send voice messages. Most of the time these people coincide. However, listening to the voice messages helps to understand how our voice is perceived by those who listen to us, allowing us to become aware of details that otherwise — without relistening- we would not have grasped.

React as a receiver to your messages

This practice is used by several copywriters. When writing important communications, try to write down the reaction each paragraph should elicit in the reader. Then reread the content identifying yourself with the message receiver and compare the reactions aroused with those noted. If they match, your message will most likely be effective.

Use more emojis in written communications

In textual communication, frictions and misunderstandings can occur due to the not-said of nonverbal communication. In-person, we can understand the full meaning from a facial expression or tone of voice. In the text alone, however, this is not possible. Emojis help to bridge that gap, estoring the context of non-verbal communication that would be present in a face-to-face conversation

Practice active listening in everyday communications

We have daily conversations with the people most present in our life — friends, life partners, parents, or children. And just with these people, we are more likely to listen passively. Practicing active listening in everyday conversations transforms this behavior into an automatism for all future communications — regardless of who we communicate with.

Film yourself and study your recordings

It’s annoying and sometimes boring, but talking in front of a camera has the same principle mentioned for voice messages. From recordings, you can become aware of information and details that you would otherwise not be able to grasp in the first person. And through a camera, compared to just voice messages, you can manage every aspect of non-verbal communication, from gestures to facial expressions.